I wanted to write about feeling powerless today. The memory that springs to mind was when I was in a therapy session a few years ago. I was sat crying, feeling like a powerless victim of my life when all of a sudden, I literally felt like I was shrinking.
I rolled off the sofa onto the floor and curled up in a ball on the rug. I was terrified I was going to disappear. Luckily there were no drains for me to fall down! After a few awful minutes, the sensations stopped. I opened my eyes, realised I was still of normal size and climbed back onto the sofa to resume the session.
In contrast, at UPW, Tony Robbins’ event, I felt powerful, like I could achieve anything which I proved to myself by walking over hot coals barefoot in a cold carpark! I came home buzzing, feeling larger than life.
In both cases, I created my perception based on my thoughts and emotions. I could have easily felt powerful sat on the sofa getting the help I needed, equally I could have felt powerless compared to the 10,000 insanely happy people at UPW.
Whether we feel powerless or powerful is under our control in any given situation… However, it certainly doesn’t feel that way sometimes!!!
The whole problem with feeling powerless is that you don’t feel like you’ve got any choice but to endure the situation. In that state you’ll be having thoughts that match the feeling… I’m no good, I’m not strong enough, I don’t have any support, I can’t get out of this feeling, God hates me, I always have bad luck etc.
If you believe those thoughts, it’s going to be tough to get up off the carpet.
I’ll share with you some ways I’ve found to release the emotion and feel more powerful.
- Give yourself permission to feel powerless. We are here to experience all of the emotions. If we didn’t know this feeling, we wouldn’t know how good feeling powerful is. By giving yourself permission, you allow the emotion to flow through you and you’ll feel better much quicker than if you resist it.
- Say your inner dialogue out loud. Either to yourself or someone who will listen and not butt in. It gives a voice to your thoughts and stops them repeating over and over in your head and eventually you’ll get bored of your own voice and move on!
- Write down your thoughts, don’t filter. By resisting saying the really bad stuff, we keep ourselves stuck. If you feel like you want to die, write it down. You can always burn the paper later.
- Ask yourself “Is this true?”. For example “I have no support… is this true?… well I do have my friend but she’s probably busy and doesn’t want to listen… is this true? I don’t know, I guess I could text her and ask her to call me. Keep going until a solution arises!
- Ask yourself “Why am I so powerful?” Even if you don’t get an answer, your subconscious mind will start looking for reasons which will help you shift into a more resourceful state.
- Put your hand on your heart and say I love you and we will get through this. This speaks to your inner child who is the one actually experiencing the emotion.
The truth is we are all powerful beyond measure.
I’ll leave you with Marianne Williamson who explains our real fear:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.